A friend posted this on her Facebook page, so I have to steal it. I find The Onion to be unnervingly accurate in their sarcasm.
Teaching disabilities
May 25, 2009 at 3:18 pm (education)
Tags: teaching disabilities, The Onion, unnerving accuracy
Making the Grade 12s cry
May 21, 2009 at 3:36 pm (education)
Tags: Grace Llewellyn, Grade 12 English, Guerrilla Learning, Math for dummies, teaching English
Why? What on earth would be the reason? Reason? Does reason come into this at all?
In Ontario, English is the only subject which is mandatory through all 4 years of high school. Everyone has to take it, regardless of their area of interest or study. This is not English as in how-to-communicate-effectively; this is literary analysis of novels.
I’m an English major, and the only time I have used my abilities to analyse literature outside of school is to teach others to analyse literature for school. It’s really not, I assure you, a life skill.
My Grade 12s are always kinda shaky this time of year. Universities have given early acceptance, but Grade 12 English marks have to be maintained at a minimum of 75%, or the acceptance is withdrawn. This applies to Business majors, Maths majors, Computer Science majors; everyone.
This is ridiculous. Ludicrous.
Endymion has been a little morose for the past couple of weeks. He’s heading for Ryerson, but has been cursed with a terrible English teacher for the second year in a row. She assigned an essay on Hamlet two weeks ago, but checked everyone’s thesis yesterday, and decided no one had it right (I’ve been working on the essay with Endymion, and his thesis was a Level 3). He now has 36 hours to re-write the entire essay. Endymion has a cognitive processing delay; for him to write a short paragraph in 36 hours is pretty good work.
One of my other Grade 12s was actually in tears last night. She’s going into the Business programme at Waterloo, but only has a 76%, and is concerned she has no leeway. She is now writing a comparison essay on 1984 and Brave New World. She doesn’t have time to do the extra research and essay readings the teacher suggested. She only got out of the ESL programme a year ago, and has done both her Grade 11 and her Grade 12 English classes this year. This girl does all the finances for the small grocery store chain her family owns. She will not need to analyse literature ever again, but her whole future depends on being able to analyse it now. The next novel her class is working on is Frankenstein, ’cause 200-year-old horror stories are apparently important to one’s education. This student, by the way, has had a 98% average in all her math, business, and computer courses; she is not ignorant, nor uneducated.
In Guerrilla Learning, Grace Llewellyn lists the 5 keys to learning as: opportunity, timing, interest, freedom and support. Just about every educator, even these stupid high-school English teachers, would agree with her. Yet, the only key used here is opportunity; this is the opportunity to make them learn it, or they can’t get on with their lives.
I don’t get what my students see in math… or business… or computers… or biology. Each time they ask me to correct essays from these classes, I reiterate the caveat: I can only correct grammar and spelling. They’re okay with this (they find it kind of funny). It’s strange, though, that money and computers are what drive our society – they may even drive the whole world – yet I don’t have to know anything about them. Other students like me, we’re free of math in Grade 11, and never have to take a business or computer class.
I think English should be mandatory for all years of high school, but there should be different classes. Analysis for those who are going to waste their life in the world of English (*snicker*), business writing for those who are going into Business, and Grammar for those so inclined. There should also be a general I-hate-all-things-English class, where students can work on the things they need to work on most, depending on their particular weaknesses and interests. If, by age 17, a person has not been convinced leisure reading is a good thing, they will not learn anything by being forced to read novels. If their idea of leisure reading is a biology text, then the English class should be centred around biology texts… or computer programming manuals… or (*shudder*) financial statements. There are some very twisted people in this world, but their literary preferences should be accommodated, too.
P.S. Math should be mandatory for all 4 years, too, but should also have special classes. For instance, if someone had taught me to fill out tax forms properly, or figure out a 15% tip, well….
Senseless is dull
May 20, 2009 at 6:56 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: Yann Martel, The Facts Behind the Helsinki Roccamatios, Nick Bantock, 5 senses, 6th sense. The Vita Aeterna Mirror Company
*swoon*
Yann Martel’s The Facts Behind the Helsinki Roccamatios; better than chocolate; so absolutely perfect.
I could go on about it, but I’m sure there are plenty of reviews, given I’m about 16 years behind in my reading…
I couldn’t choose a favourite story from the book; each one is its own little truffle, unwrapped, laying itself bare for sensual enjoyment. However, the last story, The Vita Aeterna Mirror Company; Mirrors to Last till Kingdom Come, really got me. Yep, I cried. I also drooled (not literally).
The story is physically brilliant. On one side of the page is the grandmother’s monologue, and on the other are the narrator’s thoughts. Two veins of dialogue at the same time; impossible to handle in any form other than print.
It got me thinking about sensory input. I really like Nick Bantock’s books; when his writing sucks, one can concentrate on the illustrations, and vice versa. I like music with lyrics. I like to have music or the television on while I eat. It’s good to have two things going at once.
In the real world (not the one in my head), it almost never happens that there is only one sense being used at a time. People get upset if they lose a sense, and people who have lost one are considered abnormal. Tasting food doesn’t happen if we don’t smell it. Perfect romance comes with candlelight, music, good food, and physical touch. Indoors and out, there are always things to see, to hear, to touch, to smell.
Books should be that way, too. Books should look good, smell good, sound good, feel good.
Learning should be that way; all senses need to be involved if the experience is going to be pleasurable, memorable.
Now, I want to find the books which make me use my sixth sense, as well.
You named your rabbit WHAT?!
May 7, 2009 at 4:47 pm (English Language)
Tags: found in translation, puns, rabbit names
One of my Chinese students got two pet rabbits this past weekend. They’re both small, and curl up into a little ball when they sleep. One rabbit is black-and-white, so they named it “small rock”. The other rabbit is creamy white, so they named it “steamed bun”.
When I finished killing myself with laughter, it took a few minutes to explain the pun to my student.
She laughed. She’s not re-naming the rabbit.
Funny Man, Serious Man
May 7, 2009 at 4:32 pm (Creativity, education)
Tags: creativity in education, Ken Robinson
I really, really, really like this:
Team players
May 6, 2009 at 4:15 pm (education)
Tags: bugger of a class, Han Geng, I hate sports, natural teams, team player
I hate the term, “team player”. Mostly, I think, because I’m not one; I play very well with myself. I also have a serious distaste for jargon.
I’m beginning to like teams, though. Not the sports variety, the educational variety. Inspired by my triplets, I have lately been applying myself to the task of re-arranging the classes put together by idiot businessmen who are concerned with making money at the expense of education. Most of the time, this has required begging. I’m not above it.
I now have some very nice little groups. My Chinese bugger-of-a-class is now all girls, all of approximately the same age and level of English. Finally, they’re talking. Two of them are enthralled by young, male, Korean musicians (I use the last term very loosely), so we talk about Han Geng a lot. Several others in the class are not so enthralled, so they express general disgust in a typically female fashion.
My perfect Chinese class – a group of 8- and 9-year-olds – is even more perfect now that the best of them got moved to bugger-of-a-class. These little kids learn from each other, inspire each other, question each other, compete with each other. There is a natural leader in this small group, and I just let her lead; no one seems at all threatened by her, because she knows when to step back. I don’t really need to be there, other than as a computer which may correct the odd point of grammar or supply a word. This group is learning English so quickly I’m concerned that I should be… concerned.
There is also a good group of boys at the tutoring centre, who have begun a series of competitions. Sometimes the competition is to see who can find the most similarities between Voldemort and me; sometimes they see who can finish their homework first. Each member of the group is now enthused about tutoring, and they will bawl out anyone who misses a session or doesn’t do the homework, because it affects their competitions (not because they care about the loss of education).
My children are also working on teams. My son has a new friend who is a moderating influence; I like this team. My daughter is acting as the moderating influence to a small group of girls; I’m not so fond of this team, as I don’t see my dear daughter as anything at all moderate.
Some of the teams are just two people. Me an’ Endymion, for example. I also have a girl in Grade 8 who works best on a team of just me an’ her. There is a Grade 9 boy who works best on a team comprised of himself and his younger brother. This last team is entertaining me greatly, as I play around with the finer points of their relationship.
Perhaps, what so annoys me about the term “team player” is that someone else has decided who should be on which team. They also expect you to play well with every team. This seems unnatural to me.
If we get rid of the businessmen, then humans will instinctively find their own teams.
